


Fusion, Freedom, Her Attention

by harperslanding



Series: Is It Over? [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Pearl/Rose, Abusive Relationships, Autistic Pearl (Steven Universe), Autistic Peridot (Steven Universe), F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Abuse, i cant believe i just had to type that sentence out with my own two hands, the "peridot is obsessed with fidget spinners" meme except with ANGST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 05:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20961212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harperslanding/pseuds/harperslanding
Summary: In an attempt to balance out Amethyst's laziness and Pearl's workaholic tendencies, Opal decides to clean the house. For unknown reasons, she decided to put one of Peridot's most valued possessions on top of a cupboard. Hours later, the Crystal Gems are at a concert, and Pearl and Peridot are the only ones home. Pearl isn't tall enough to reach the cupboard, and so the two try increasingly ridiculous antics to get it.Part 3 of a series. Part 1 isn't really necessary for understanding this fic but part 2 is.





	Fusion, Freedom, Her Attention

When Steven frowns at the cake on the table and says, “Half of me wants to eat it all now and the other half wants to eat a piece and save the rest for later,” he’s referring to the part of his brain that wishes for immediate satisfaction (and protection from the possibility of Amethyst eating it all later) versus the part that thinks long-term.

When Lapis Lazuli stands ankle-deep in the ocean of beach city and says, “Half of me wants to go and swim and the other half wants to stay away from the water,” she’s referring to her natural desire as a water-oriented gem to experience the sensation of being underwater versus her trauma as a result of being Malachite and the association between being underwater and being trapped.

When Opal stares neurotically at a twenty-two-year-old purple cat plush that somehow ended up in the middle of the living room and says, “Half of me wants to put this somewhere more sensible and the other half says I can’t touch it because only Amethyst can touch my -- er, I mean, her stuff,” well, she’s perhaps being a tad more literal.

She struggles to keep her balance, her centre of gravity being skewed by four rapidly flailing arms with all the grace that is expected when one has two pairs of arms that are trying to accomplish completely separate tasks.

“P!” protests Opal, in Amethyst’s voice. “Knock it off!”

“It’ll be fine,” argues Opal with herself, in Pearl’s voice. “See, we can take it to your room, but we’ll only touch it with your arms, so technically you’re the only one who’ll touch it.”

“There’s no clear distinction as to which arms are mine and which are yours!” yells Amethyst, flailing all four arms wildly to prove her point and almost falling over in the process. “And I’m not Amethyst!”

Three -- technically four -- Crystal Gems stand by, watching Opal’s argument. Peridot looks up at Garnet. “Do you ever get, err, like this?”

Garnet shakes her head. “It’s different when you’re permanently fused.”

“Uh, I’ve never been like that as Stevonnie,” protests Steven. “Or Steg, or Smoky, or Rainbow, or --”

“Shh,” says Garnet, placing a finger across his lips.

Opal continues her quest to clean the house. It’s a surprisingly good system, because Amethyst’s natural tendencies towards laziness balance out Pearl’s need to be constantly working until the job is finished, and Opal manages to get the job done while Amethyst wouldn’t while not working herself to the bone like Pearl would. Amethyst’s desire to keep the house the same as it was before means that the newly-cleaned house is merely a cleaner version of the old one, rather than a disorienting new arrangement that Pearl would inevitably accidentally create.

As a combination of Amethyst’s laziness, Opal’s forgetfulness, and Opal’s tendency to argue with herself over the best way to solve a problem, it takes at least twice as long as Pearl would, but it works and it’s better for both of them. Besides, more and more previous Homeworld gems are moving to Earth and starting to adhere to Crystal Gem beliefs rather than the traditional Homeworld hierarchies, and having the one Pearl among the group as their “designated cleaner” is making Steven’s family seem increasingly prejudiced to open-minded strangers.

As evening falls, Opal finishes the job and unfuses. Steven leaves to go to Connie’s house for a sleepover (though not before listening to Pearl’s speech about how he’d better not fuse into Stevonnie to buy alcohol again), and Garnet, with raised sunglasses and a wink of her blue eye, has a convenient concert that she wishes to invite almost all of the Crystal Gems to attend with her -- though not Pearl and Peridot.

“It would be too loud for you,” she explains. “I have future vision.”

Is she choosing to randomly bring up the future vision to prove that she knows it would be too loud for them, or is she referencing something she expects will happen when the couple is left alone? Peridot and Pearl are not sure. They just know that, as gems, they have no need for sleep. They have the whole night alone together, under the stars...

They immediately start arguing over science.

* * *

“Of course it sounds bad when you say it like that,” protests Peridot. “But you could use the same logic to declare anything as being dangerous! For example, I could say that dihydrogen monoxide has a pH level of seven, higher than any acid, and that in organic life forms, it can cause suffocation, as well as dehydration when mixed with salt!”

Pearl glares. “Are you comparing water to acid?!”

“No, I’m comparing water to lemon, which is perfectly safe!”

“It’s acidic,” says Pearl stubbornly. “and therefore I’m not letting Steven eat it.”

“Ugh, whatever. Do you know where my fidget spinner is?”

Peridot looks around at the many fountains surrounding her. The Crystal Temple was always designed for five gems, plus a human with the addition of the house portion when Steven was young, but with the Crystal Gems from the war becoming uncorrupted and many Homeworld gems choosing to move to Earth, the temple is quickly becoming overcrowded. While the fact that gems don’t need to sleep and aren’t badly harmed by exposure to the elements, and therefore don’t technically need a house, helps somewhat, many gems would prefer to have a building to live in and the Crystal Temple is being forced to function as a temporary home while they decide where to live and how to build a house.

Peridot’s home of the barn was destroyed by Lapis when she brought it back to Earth, and any room in the Crystal Temple that was not owned by one of the five “original” Crystal Gems and is safe to be in has already been claimed by a recently uncorrupted Crystal Gem, and for the time being she’s simply staying in her girlfriend’s room. Lapis joins them sometimes, simply for the room’s many fountains and lakes, but it seems that the barn was her last and only home; now that it’s destroyed, she prefers not to tie herself down to one location, merely coming to Pearl’s room when she’s so tired that she needs to sleep and flying around the Earth the rest of the time.

“What’s a fidget spinner?” asks Pearl.

“Um,” says Peridot, trying to explain the concept. “It, um, it’s a fidgety thing that you can spin.” Her cheeks turn blue. “I’m not good at explaining things. Steven gave it to me, if he was here he could explain … I thought you would know since you cleaned up earlier, as Opal.”

“Maybe I could remember where I put it if I knew what it looked like.” She dramatically reaches into the pocket of her jacket. “Fear not, for I have a cellular phone!”

* * *

“Psst, dude.”

Teenagers whisper to each other in hushed, passive-aggressive tones as they so often do when speaking of another behind their back.

“What?” says the teen’s friend.

“There’s a crazy lady over there talking to herself.” the teen explains.

Their friend follows their gaze and frowns. “Uh, they’ve got a pin that says they/them pronouns.”

“I mean, they might be hallucinating and in need of medical help, but sure, focus on the pronouns, Jim.”

Jim and his friend listen eagerly.

“Is that your phone or mine?” the teen asks, seemingly to themself, as a text notification noise is dimly heard in the background.

“Uh, I think it’s mine,” they reply to themself. They take two phones out (one phone in each pocket? how rich is this kid?) and check them. “Yeah, it’s mine. It’s just Pearl asking me to send her a photo of a fidget spinner.”

They raise an eyebrow and their voice takes on a slightly different tone. “Why does Pearl want a photo of a fidget spinner?”

“...That’s an excellent question.”

* * *

“Oh, that device,” mutters Pearl. “I think we put it on top of the kitchen cupboard.”

“...Why?”

“I don’t know, I think that was Amethyst’s decision. Come on, let’s go get it.”

The two make their way out of Pearl’s room and into the house portion of the Crystal Temple. They get to the kitchen cupboard and Peridot immediately starts jumping up and down ineffectively. “It’s no use, I’m too short. Pearl?”

Pearl stands on her tip-toes and stretches her arms out, but the cupboard is just a little bit too tall for her. She sighs. “I can’t reach either.”

“Why would you knowingly purchase a cupboard that’s too tall for you to access?”

“Steven used to try to steal chocolate from it when he was younger. Besides, Garnet can normally reach it.”

She conveniently leaves out the part about how Amethyst can normally reach it by shapeshifting.

“But Garnet’s not here, says Peridot, frowning. She jumps back up, and she’s not even half as tall as she needs to be. “If only I had my limb enhancers…”

“Yes,” mutters Pearl guiltily. “but those were thrown into the ocean years ago.”

“...You can swim, can’t you?”

* * *

On one hand, she technically does not really need to breathe, so she can stay underwater searching pretty much until Garnet comes back, if she hasn’t found it by then.

On the other hand, it’s rare for her to get a night alone with Peridot and she’d really prefer not to waste it being underwater.

She resurfaces with a gasp -- she might not need air to live, but at some point during one of her various regenerations she thought lungs would be a good idea and being unable to breathe is an unpleasant sensation to anyone with lungs, regardless of the necessity -- and shakes her head at Peridot’s hopeful expression. “Why don’t you try?”

“I don’t know how to swim,” says Peridot. It feels like a rather weak excuse. “Maybe if Lapis comes back she can part the ocean --”

“Lapis has wings, Peridot, we’re not making her part the ocean just so you can be a foot taller, we’ll just get her to fly up and get it if she comes.” She sighs. “Do you really need the fidget spinner that badly?”

“Mm-hmm,” says Peridot stubbornly.

“Well, let’s go inside to brainstorm some more. I don’t think we’ll ever find the limb enhancers. Besides, I’d like to dry off.”

* * *

It’s a tender moment as Peridot wraps the towel around her girlfriend’s slender arm, moving closer to her with blue cheeks, delicately moving the fabric against her form.

It’s a slightly less tender moment as Peridot tries to plug in a hair dryer and ends up cutting off the entire house’s electricity supply.

“We should probably do something about that,” says Pearl, frowning.

Peridot lights a candle so she can see the cupboard and the fidget spinner and shrugs. “Eh, Garnet will probably be able to fix it when she gets back.”

Pearl lights another candle to supplement the light of the first, then finds a flashlight that illuminates more than either. She blows out the candles, muttering something about fire safety, and shines the torch on the cupboard. “Any ideas?”

Peridot’s eyes take on a cartoonish star shape and she leaps up. “That’s it! Ugh, how did I not think of it before?”

“What?” asks Pearl, moving the torch so she can see Peridot’s face.

“You can shapeshift and become taller!”

Pearl freezes.

“...Why don’t you shapeshift?”

“I’m an Era 2 Peridot, why would they give me the ability to shapeshift?!”

“I’m a Pearl, why would they give me the ability to shapeshift?!”

“Well, we know you can, because Steven told me that’s how you faked Pink Diamond’s--”

She stops dead.

The room is silent.

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...I shouldn’t have mentioned that, should I?”

“It’s fine,” mumbles Pearl hastily. “It was thousands of years ago. I’m over it now.”

Peridot raises an eyebrow.

“...I’m mostly over it now.” She sighs. “It just … It feels weird thinking about the early days, before we formed the Crystal Gems and faked her shattering. It ... I don’t know, it’s just … hard to think that she fought so hard and gave so much, and that the Crystal Gems wouldn’t exist today without her efforts, but that she was also horrible to me on an interpersonal level.”

Peridot hesitates. She steps forward to put an arm on her girlfriend’s shoulder and almost trips over in the dark, and upon getting within arm’s length realises that she can’t even reach Pearl’s shoulder in the first place. “Sometimes I think good people can do bad things. And … sometimes bad people can do good things.”

“...Do you think Rose was a bad person?”

More hesitation. “I think she definitely did some awful things. To you, to Bismuth, to Spinel…”

“But she also founded the Crystal Gems. Without her, the Gem hierarchies would be the same as they were before, and humans would be enslaved or worse.”

“Some of those things weren’t really caused by Rose, though. It wasn’t her that redeemed the Diamonds, it was Steven. Without Rose … there would still have been Gems like Garnet that wanted to stay fused forever, or Gems like Amethyst that weren’t able to complete their purpose, or Gems that simply defected willingly. A rebellion was coming either way, Rose just happened to kickstart it.”

“But --” Pearl frowns. “Rose set those events in motion. Gems have rebelled before her and continued after until Steven redeemed the Diamonds, but none of them damaged the Diamond Authority like Rose did by faking her own shattering!”

“Maybe they did and it was just easier for the Diamonds to hide it,” argues Peridot. “Besides … hmm, do you remember how at the ball, Connie tried to cheer Steven up by dancing with him, but they accidentally fused into Stevonnie which caused more problems for everyone?”

“Of course!” Pearl practically leaps at the mention of Stevonnie. “I hope they’re not consuming any alcoholic beverages while they’re out…”

“If they are, we’ll deal with it when they come back,” says Peridot firmly. “But the important thing is: do you blame Connie for what happened then? Was it her fault?”

“Well…” Pearl purses her lips. “I mean, if you want to be technical about it, it was her that caused it, but … No, I don’t blame her. She caused the consequences unintentionally and indirectly, so the real blame lies on the Diamonds, who were the direct and intentional cause of Stevonnie being locked in that room. Besides, Connie had the best of intentions.”

“So if Connie had good intentions and couldn’t possibly have known that her actions would hurt people, then she’s not a bad person, correct?”

“Of course!”

“...So if Rose had selfish intentions and couldn’t possibly have known that her actions would help people, why would that make her a good person?”

Pearl freezes.

“Peridot,” she says slowly. “you may have a good point there.”

“Well that’s wonderful,” says Peridot. “Now how can we get the fidget spinner?”

Pearl hesitates. “If I pick you up, you could probably reach it.”

Her cheeks grow blue. Peridot’s do the same, but she stubbornly crosses her arms. “What are you waiting for, then?!”

Pearl lifts the smaller Gem up in her arms like she used to do to Steven when he was younger. Peridot flails wildly, disoriented by the unusual height, and almost throws Pearl’s balance off. The two struggle not to fall over in the dark with nothing resembling grace.

It almost looks like a very strange dance.

* * *

“Wow, you got it down?”

“Got what down?” asks Peridot, eyes focused on the green item in her hands.

“The fidget spinner,” explains Amethyst. “I put it on top of the cupboard the other day as a prank when we were cleaning.”

“So that’s why we put it there!” exclaims Pearl. She pauses. “Why would we do that?”

“I thought it’d be funny,” says Amethyst. “Anyway, when’d you get it down?”

“Later the same day,” answers Pearl. “While you were at that concert.”

“Oh yeah!” She chuckles. “Man, P, you shoulda seen that concert! It was _so_ wild… also there was this guy that was like, _so_ drunk, he ran up to me slurring about how “Jim only cares about the pronouns”. Garnet just punched him, it was epic!” Ignoring Pearl’s mumbled remark about how assault is never acceptable and humans are weak and vulnerable, she continues, “So anyway, which one of you got it down? I woulda thought you would have to wait for Garnet to get home.”

Pearl and Peridot exchange a glance. Their cheeks turn blue and they wink at each other.

“We both did it,” says Peridot briefly. “We did it together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Why does Pearl know how to swim? Same reason the Crewniverse put a bunch of fountains in her room: real-life pearls form underwater. (I always like having little references to Pearl and water in my fics, I see a lot of high school AUs with Lapis on the swim team and I always ask why Pearl isn't on it with her)
> 
> The ending was meant to be ambiguous as to whether or not they fuse, because this fic was written before Steven Universe Future comes out and I'm hoping loose ends relating to Peridot's fusions are tied up in that series. I didn't want to describe a Pearlidot fusion because if they fuse in SU Future I'll probably be proven wrong, but explicitly saying that they fused would make me look stupid if it turned out that Peri is unable to fuse due to being Era 2 (which would kinda make sense since like ... she's one of the only "main" Crystal Gems that hasn't fused so far, the only other one is Bismuth and Bismuth has appeared in surprisingly few episodes for a "main" character)


End file.
